To protect yourself from the alcoholic, it is suggested that setting boundaries and holding them accountable for their actions is often helpful for both you and them. Even though your partner may claim to be feeling fine, they may be suffering on the inside. Alcohol could be their way of coping with other problems they are not willing to admit. In certain situations, you may also fear for your safety, or your children’s safety, especially if your partner has shown aggressive or unstable behaviour. “Love yourself more than you love him,” they say, as though the phrase alone is enough to empower you. But he’s part of you, and you’re part of him, and to love yourself independently while letting him go feels impossible.
The benefits of an in-home detox program
Ultimately, no matter who is in your life with a drinking problem, their struggles with alcohol can be exacerbated if they do not receive timely intervention. Unfortunately, most functioning alcoholics do not seek treatment until they hit rock bottom. Because denial is so strong with functioning alcoholics, it often takes a significant life-changing event for them to “wake up” to reality. It isn’t unusual to find that someone married to a functioning alcoholic actually blames themselves for the problem. Perhaps you feel guilty that you’re complaining too much, or are not taking good care of your partner.
Whether you are struggling with addiction, mental health or both, our expert team is here to guide you every step of the way. Don’t wait— reach out today to take the first step toward taking control of your life. Our team of medical professionals provides support, recovery plans, and resources for inpatient and outpatient treatments.
- Alcoholism is a disease that often comes with secrecy as a side effect.
- This can be the result of lesser resentment towards family members who alcohol users often blame for their troubles.
- While it is one of the hardest things to do as a spouse of a high-functioning alcoholic, it can be the most important.
- They can discuss different treatment options, including detox, inpatient treatment facilities, and family therapy options, as well as help for you as the spouse.
What is the DSM 5 criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder?
Still, these feelings are counterproductive – your goal is to make sure your husband knows you are in his corner in this fight. Addiction Resource aims to provide only the most current, accurate information in regards to addiction and addiction treatment, which means we only reference the most credible sources available. When a person is using alcohol to self-medicate, sober house or they are spending a significant amount of time planning events that must include alcohol consumption, it is a red flag that there is an alcohol problem. If you answered ‘yes’ to two or three of these questions, your husband may have a mild alcohol use disorder. Four or five affirmative answers meet the criteria for a moderate alcohol use disorder. Six or more ‘yes’ answers would indicate a severe alcohol use disorder.
Is My Husband a Functioning Alcoholic?
Besides the convenience, in-home detox programs are the most discreet and private of all the options. When speaking to your spouse about treatment, this privacy component could be a major selling point that could mean the difference between them saying yes or knowing. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, heavy drinking for men is defined as anything more than four drinks on any day and fourteen drinks within a week.
How to Talk to Your Spouse About Alcohol Use
Helping a functioning alcoholic can be emotionally draining and stress-inducing for their spouse. Prioritizing your mental health and self-care strategies is vital to protect your health, family, and relationships. As a comprehensive behavioral health facility, Casa Palmera understands that drug and alcohol addiction and trauma are not only physically exhausting, but also cause a breakdown in mental and spiritual sense.
Why Functional Alcoholics and Codependent Wives are Common
It may be a source of enlightenment to him just how far-reaching his alcohol abuse has become. However, if your husband is in denial about the extent of his drinking, then he may not be ready or willing to consider seeking treatment. You may begin to feel isolated and alone, and that can be detrimental to your overall health. That sense of loneliness can be compounded if your high-functioning alcoholic husband withdraws emotionally or is overbearing and controlling—unable to communicate with your partner, you may start to feel hopeless. That is a signal that you, and your husband, need the hope that alcohol rehabilitation treatment can bring.
- Expressing your worries indirectly is critical, concentrating on particular actions and their consequences rather than categorizing someone as an alcoholic.
- They tend to protect the alcoholic husband or wife from the consequences of their alcohol use disorder and maintain a façade of normalcy in the relationship.
- Binge drinking is defined as having four or more beverages in one drinking episode for women and five or more beverages for men (a typical drinking episode is around two hours).
- Also, we explore how to help them and yourself with compassion and emotional support.
Lying on your partner’s behalf or covering up for their actions not only creates extra stress for you, but also encourages their drinking. You just want someone to truly understand why you stay, despite everyone and everything telling you that you shouldn’t, that you’re a fool. To recognize that even though you’re broken, you’re so much stronger than anyone else could ever know. Strong enough to keep going when he lets you down, to pick up the slack when he drops the ball. You stay up all night with your stomach in knots, then work through the next day like a champion to keep things as normal as possible for your family.
- If you are wondering if your husband is a high-functioning alcoholic, there are certain warning signs to look for.
- Although it is difficult to separate intellect from emotion when doing this, the alternative is allowing the alcoholic to take you down with them.
- Unfortunately, even when functional alcoholics begin to recognize that they have a drinking problem, they still resist reaching out for help.
- As time goes on and tolerance increases, they may attempt to hide the growing problem, and a growing number of empty bottles or cans, from friends and family.
If things have gone too far, this list at WomensHealth.gov will help you find domestic violence resources https://yourhealthmagazine.net/article/addiction/sober-houses-rules-that-you-should-follow/ by state. So if you’re in the same situation, married to an otherwise-wonderful man with a terrible problem, I’m talking to you. AddictionResource.net, and its parent company Recovery Guide LLC, is not a provider of substance use disorder treatment services and receives compensation from Treatment X LLC in the form of paid advertising. In addition to functional alcoholism, there is also familial alcoholism and chronic/severe alcoholism. Confront them.This could be in a one-on-one conversation or aninterventionwith others who are concerned about the person. If you never tell them how their actions affect you, they will likely never know.